They are my best friends. And my greatest enemies.
They take me from place to place, and help me obtain the things that I need to survive (like turkey burgers, Sriracha and any sign that says ‘SPRING SALE’ on it).
However, words can also hurt those closest to me.
Oddly enough – dead silence, an omission of the truth or just an awkward pause – can coincidentally become the breaking point in a relationship.
It’s funny how intricate and detrimental words can be…a single slip could result in huge loss.
You know, those moments when you’re just VOMITING…thoughts, feelings, emotions…words. All at once.
So quickly and ferociously, that the other person just looks back at you with a blatant, doe-eyed stare?
Unfortunately, I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all been there.
It can happen in the span of a minute:
You’re trying to convince the other person that, no – you’re actually not insane – you’re just HUMAN.
And then, BAM!
You’re crying again.
WELP. Hate to break it to you – but chances are, he-she-they still definitely think(s) you’re nuts.
It’s ok though.
I mean, it happens to the best of us…
You know you had a REALLY rough night when you’re staring at the remains of a rotisserie chicken and 3 Reese’s wrappers at 10 pm on a Tuesday night.
THAT’D BE ME – The chicken bitch.
Elbows deep in a late-night rotisserie chicken on a ‘school night.’ There goes my recommended sodium intake FOR THE YEAR!!
It’s great to be honest. And express emotions of all sorts. It’s incredibly invigorating actually, I highly recommend it.
In order for ANY mutual relationship to work, I think it’s really important to understand the delicate balance between speaking and listening.
Aka: Knowing when to shut up…
In my case, this is typically known to be the better decision – ironically, it is also chosen the least.
Listen (No, really). We get it.
You get all tense and anxious and flushed and red.
The disclosure of thoughts and feelings can lead to vulnerability, which can be hard for some (females and dudes alike) to grapple with.
But – LISTENING – can be even more challenging. I actually think it could be the hardest for most (or maybe that’s just me. And FYI that is based on no factual evidence whatsoever, just real life experiences) people, especially those REAL stubborn folks (wait, Me? Yes, Me.)…Sorry, I’m Croatian (What’s your excuse??).
I’d also like to blame the latter on a severe case of Adult ADD that has become much more noticeable and apparent with age. (Wait..What’s your excuse??)
My thought is – with all of the social media, technology and texting (and sexting), out there today, you’d think it’d be really simple to broadcast all of our thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, bowel movements and baby kicks (HEY WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT) out there on public display and have them be heard, seen, accepted and absorbed…
How did we become so plugged in, face-to-screen, on a daily basis??
The fact of the matter is – all of that means DIDDLY – when it comes down to some real, raw, face-to-face, heart-to-heart, human-to-human communication.
You’re there in the flesh.
You are present in every way, shape and form.
So take a deep breath.
Maybe a small sip of water.
And let those words go. Let those feelings wander.
Because, based on experience (which, lets be honest, usually blows ‘factual evidence’ out of the water anyway) – I can tell you that no matter what you have to say, you will feel a whole lot better once you’ve put it all out there and have been genuinely HEARD.
|Part of Speech:||verb|
|Definition:||become aware of information|
|Synonyms:||apperceive, ascertain, be advised, be informed, beled to believe, be told of, catch, catch on, descry,determine, discover, find out, gather, get thepicture, get wind of, get wise to, glean, have ongood authority, learn, pick up*, receive, see,tumble*, understand, unearth|
|Notes:||to listen is to try to hear ; to hear is simply to perceive with the ear|
HEY I HEAR YA!
Yes, there might be consequences.
Yes, feelings could, and probably will, get hurt.
Egos bruised and tears shed.
And yes, sometimes you will be told to SHUT UP (PLEASE NOTE: Depending on context, this could potentially warrant a drink to the face or a ‘wet willy’ – or whatever is most feasible at the time).
But chances are, whatever you have to say is definitely worth listening to…
And if worse comes to worst – your local supermarket is probably not that far away…